KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog

When you are the older sibling:

1 No matter who does something wrong, you are the one who gets yelled at because you should know better.
2 Your parents tried out their disciplining skills on you and gave up with the other kid.
3 You are expected to babysit for free.
4 You have a curfew and there is hell to pay if you are late.
5 You were never allowed to make a noise when they were sleeping.
6 The younger sibling made up stuff when they were mad at you and your parents believed them.
7 You are a parent with no authority years before your time.
8 You make your younger sibling your personal assistant until she dimes you out.
9 You send your little minion to ask mom and dad for things because she was too cute for them to say no to her.
10 You were like an explorer trying to see what you could get away with while the youngest got away with murder.

#blog #top10 #funny #oldersibling

KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog

If you are retired and bored:

1 Drive around in a black car with a black hat and pretend that you are a chauffeur.
2 Go to restaurants and pretend you are a food critic for a newspaper to see how many free meals you can get.
3 Walk up to people who seem like they are tourists and pretend you are a tour director and show them around.
4 Set up a fortune teller booth on a busy street and tell people their future.
5 Draw caricatures for people and watch the surprise on their face when they see how you drew them.
6 Sing for pocket change. People will pay you to shut up.
7 Pick people up from the airport and drop them off at random places.
8 Go to the supermarket and open up random items and give out samples to other shoppers.
9 Put a camera around your neck and take pictures of people who look interesting. Conduct an interview and do a photo shoot.
10 Hang out at the train station and have people march and teach them a cadence song.

#blog #top10 #retired #funny

KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog

Going to work after the holidays:

1 I am just going to sit here and pretend that I remember how to do my job.
2 I am glad you called me in. I was getting so tired of relaxing and enjoying myself.
3 Oh wow! Look at the piles on my desk. How thoughtful of you to leave me something to do!
4 My wallet is empty and it’s the only reason I am here.
5 I told my husband I wanted to be a kept woman and he agreed after dropping me off here.
6 What do you mean this is due by the end of the day? You’re a mean one Mr. Grinch.
7 I had to give up wearing pajamas to be here today.
8 No days off til May!? This is unacceptable.
9 You cry in the parking lot because the celebrations are over.
10 You threaten to leave if anyone coughs or sneezes

#blog #top10 #funny #holidaysover

KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog

Why you should stay away from each other when you are mad:

1 You are Italian and like to throw things. (1,2,3 duck!)
2 You have a habit of bringing up incidents from years ago instead of the argument at hand. (I still haven’t forgiven you for being late on our wedding day. Now this!)
3 When you get mad you get irrational. (You always put me down and probably don’t like me.)
4 You get mad and go for the jugular. You will say anything to make the person mad. (Go ahead and play your video games! I will do everything as usual.)
5 Your spouse purposely uses “whatever” to get you going. (Oh no you didn’t!)
6 You are so competitive that you refuse to lose an argument. (Nope it was absolutely your fault.)
7 You have temper tantrums when you get angry. (You left the toilet seat up and I went for a swim!) Slam the door for effect.
8 You play the blame game. (You woke up in a bad mood and were looking to pick a fight.)
9 You haven’t learned how to say sorry. (Sorry for what?)
10 You are in a bad mood and picking a fight. (Who folded these towels!? A two-year-old could fold them better)

#TopTen #Arguing #Blogger

KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog

Bye Bye 2020:

1 “The year 2020…Brought to you by the letters W, T and F.” —The Super Mom Life
2 “The best thing about homeschooling is that now I can add, ‘I’ll fail you’ to my repertoire of empty parenting threats.” —Copy Mama
3 “After all the stupid things I’ve done in my life, if I die because I touched my face, I’m gonna be pissed.” —Unknown
4 “Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs: We roam the house looking for food, we’re told ‘no’ if we get too close to strangers, and we get really excited about car rides and walks.” —Unknown
5 “So far, 2020 is like looking both ways before you cross the street then getting hit by an airplane.” —Unknown
6 “The only thing I gained in 2020 was weight.” —Unknown
7 “If there’s one thing that scares me more than an apocalyptic end of the world, it’s the possibility that if my kids fail at homeschooling they have to retake it.” —Three Time Daddy
8 “After years of swearing that I couldn’t clean my house because I didn’t have enough time, 2020 has proven that may have not been the reason.” —The Super Mom Life
9 “I wish days of the week underwear were still a thing so I knew what the hell day of the week it is.” —Mommy Owl
10 “‘He chewed too loud’ became the number one cause of divorce.” —Unknown

KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog –

I finally have a night to myself. What will I do?

1 Clean? NO WAY! I can think of a million things better to do.
2 Exercise? Very funny. That’s too much work.
3 Eat at a restaurant since one meal is pretty cheap. Oh, this is super awkward. I have no one to talk to and if I look up, the table next to me thinks I am a weirdo. Waitress, can I get this to go?
4 Dye my hair and look on the computer for vacation spots while it processes. I am a multi-tasker. Oh God, I left it on 15 minutes too long. My hair is jet black and I look totally goth.
5 Soak in the tub? Nah. I would probably doze off and drown.
6 Rearrange my bedroom. I can do this. Help. My mattress has me pinned against the wall. Anyone?
7 I know. Shopping! Oh, I only have $20. I might be able to buy half a shirt. Nevermind. It will be the world’s quickest shopping trip.
8 Turn the radio up and have a dance party by myself. It feels amazing until I turn around and see everyone back home early laughing at me. Get out!
9 I decide to try out my sewing machine by following a pattern and making a tee shirt. When I am done, it is only big enough for a Barbie.
10 Watch a movie because I never get the remote or have time to sit that long. This is gonna be great. I wake up 4 hours later. My night is over and I have nothing to show for it.

#blog #Top10 #NightToYourself #funny

KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog

Hating board games:

1 You are playing with someone too competitive. Their mission is to kick your butt at any cost. What part of this is fun?
2 You are playing charades with someone who is a horrible guesser. Can I trade partners?
3 Some people pull the rule book out every time it is your turn. They become the game police.
4 Your friend cheats and is appalled when you call them out. Someone is in denial.
5 You are playing with a sore loser who has a temper tantrum like an overgrown brat when they lose. Makes you want to play again.
6 The game takes too long and you feel like you are wasting your life.
7 The people you are playing with keep changing the rules to their advantage.
8 People take the game too personally when you give them a bad card. Okay if you insist, I did it on purpose. Geez.
9 The winner clears the pieces off of the board without realizing that you continue playing for second place.
10 You are playing scrabble and can’t spell to save your life.

#top10 #blog #funny #boardgames

KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog

Bowling:

1 Your shoes look like you are ready to join the circus 🎪.
2 If you go past the foul line, you become the ball and fly down the lane.
3 The thumb hole on the ball either gives you a blister or breaks your nail. What the heck!
4 The harder you try to do better, the worse you do.
5 When did bowling 🎳 become so expensive? $8 a game and you go home mad at your score.
6 You throw a strike ball and get a split. Now you know the pins are messing with you.
7 Your approach is looking good. Your arm swings back and so does the ball. Run for cover!
8 You trip and know that when you turn around, EVERYONE is watching 👀.
9 The only way you are gonna do better is if you put the bumpers up.
10 The lane next to you never heard of bowling etiquette. They don’t wait for you to go. Right before you throw the ball, they mess up your concentration by throwing their ball.

#top10 #bowling #funny #blog

KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog

When you run out of something:

1 You are in the middle of a recipe when you find out you are missing the key ingredient.
2 Your tires suddenly need air when it is raining or freezing cold out.
3 When you have no money, the house decides to break.
4 You were going to make a sandwich for work and have no bread.
5 You need your phone for directions but it is almost dead and you have no charger. Hopefully you get to your destination before the power runs out.
6 Your gas light comes on when you are on a major interstate. Looks like you will be getting off at the next exit. You are running on fumes.
7 Your kids are acting up and you are fresh out of patience. Heaven help them when you get your hands on them.
8 You are trying to write a note and your pens don’t want to write.
9 You don’t feel good and need medicine but are too sick to go get it.
10 You are stuck on the bowl without a roll of toilet paper!

#blog #top10 #funny #allgone

KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog –

When xmas is over:

1 You feel like the kids should open up their presents two or three more times so that you can feel like you got your moneys worth.
2 You are seriously hoping that your credit card bills don’t arrive and that they say this Christmas is on us. Wishful thinking.
3 You ate so much the day before that you are still full and the sight of food makes you nauseous.
4 You know that you spent so much money and the last thing you want to do is shop for anything including food.
5 You pray that everything works because you hate returns. The lines will be too long in the store and online purchases are a pain in the arse to return.
6 For all of the stress, preparation, and hoopla it’s over so quick you didn’t have time to enjoy it long enough.
7 You don’t have to be on your best behavior until next year. You wouldn’t want people getting the wrong idea that you are nice every day.
8 You are happy not to have to hear another xmas song.
9 You can’t wait to get home so that you can put on some comfy pants. You have been dying to unbutton your pants since dinner.
10 Someone gives you a gift and you don’t have one for them. You won’t be seeing another one ever again.

#blog #top10 #funny #xmas