KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog

When you get a gift and have none to exchange. You politely excuse yourself for a bathroom trip:
1 You trip trying to run up the stairs as quick as possible. You rummage through your closet with clothes flying everywhere and move on to the jewelry box to see if you have anything with a tag still on it.
2 You throw the contents of your handbag on the floor praying that there is a gift card in one of the compartments that you forgot to use.
3 Next, you run down the hall to see if there is any unused body wash. No luck.
4 Then it hits you that maybe you have some perfume. You go to your special drawer and search. Everything is used. Why do you have to be a fragrance junkie?
5 Oh! You might have some candles. Perfect. Then you remember your friend is a pain in the ass who is sensitive to anything overly scented.
6 You are beginning to sweat and frantically try to come up with a solution. Your husband has the secret stash of money in his drawer. He has no idea that you know about it. You look underneath his socks and NOTHING!! He is on to you and moved it.
7 Then you remember your friend likes to read. On to the bookcase in the study. You find the perfect book but it isn’t going to be enough.
8 It shouldn’t be a problem since you can give it to her with a bottle of wine. You open the wine cabinet to find it empty. Unfortunately, you and your husband are apparently alcoholics who drink everything in sight.
9 You grab one of the plants in your house in desperation or go out to your garden and pick flowers. You have to crawl under the window so that you are undetected.
10 Of course, there is no gift wrap so you improvise with aluminum foil and are proud because the present looks fancy now.
Your friend smiles as you return to the room with your gift and you say, “I am so sorry to keep you waiting. My stomach is a mess!

#blog #funny #topten #nogift

KC Avalon’s Daily Blog

Shoes feel so great when you try them on at the store:

1 The next day the shoes are somehow smaller than they were at the store. Your feet have swollen to twice the size and your shoes may have to be cut off.
2 The bottom of the shoe is suddenly so slippery that you fall every time you take a step.
3 The backs of the shoes are rubbing against your skin and you hobble around the rest of the day.
4 Your boots are rubbing against your shins. When you take them off, you are covered in bruises and your leg hair is missing.
5 The shoe doesn’t seem to have any cushioning. You feel like you are walking on concrete with every step you take. Maybe the bottoms of your shoes fell off.
6 The peep toe style looked cute but turns out it is a torture chamber. You might only have four toes by the time you get home.
7 Your new flip flops have hard plastic. The skin between your toes is disappearing with every step you take.
8 The shoes are pointier than you remember. Your toes are being painfully squeezed together. You may walk like a penguin for the rest of your life.
9 The heels are so high on your open toe shoes that your foot is sliding downward and getting cut by the strappy design holding your feet in. It’s like barbed wire.
10 Those cute little slip on heels you bought are super dangerous in the rain. Your heel keeps slipping out and it will be a miracle if your ankles aren’t broken by the end of the day.

#blogger #topten #uncomfortableshoes

KC Avalon’s Daily Blog

Best Car Closing Lines:

1 This car is so fun to drive. I would feel horrible if you had to drive your old car home.
2 Listen, I will throw in a full tank of gas so your first ride will be a long one.
3 Sure this car is a little over your monthly budget, but you will easily save this amount in gas.
4 Hey, is your company hiring? If I go any lower, I am going to need a new job.
5 Imagine yourself in this fast, hot car with the top down. Your friends will be so envious. I mean, you can save $50 a month with the Prius, but your friends will be looking at you for a different reason.
6 That couple over there really wants the same car you are looking at right now. If you put a deposit down right now, the car is yours.
7 Let me tell you, the vehicle is loaded. The only thing missing is you in the driver’s seat.
8 Everyone wants to save some money. This is a great vehicle. You work hard and deserve to treat yourself. If you don’t, no one else will.
9 I want to make this as simple as possible for you. If you sign the paperwork, I will deliver the vehicle to your door personally when it is ready.
10 As far as deals go, you pretty much hit a grand slam. You better sign the paperwork as quick as possible, before they realize their mistake.

#TopTen #CarClosingLines #Funny #blogger