KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog

Bad First Date Signs:
1 He shows up on a bike, and it’s not a motorcycle.
2 She drinks too much and throws up on you when you make a move.
3 He shows up with a reinforcement. Umm no, three is a crowd.
4 She forgets your name and attempts to remember by using the wrong one.
5 He gets out a calculator to figure out who pays for what.
6 She talks negatively about her ex the whole time. It seems like she doesn’t even like men.
7 He brings you back to his place, except it isn’t his place. His room is in the basement of his mom’s house, and he is 30.
8 She doesn’t make eye contact with you the entire night. However, she flirts with the waiter and doesn’t hide the fact that he left his number on the bill.
9 He tells you to dress nice. You wear a cute red dress, and he shows up in a Grateful Dead shirt and jeans.
10 She tells you she is looking for a serious relationship and wants to have a baby within the next year.

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KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog

Advice for meeting her parents for the first time:
1 If you bring a bottle of wine, don’t drink the whole bottle yourself.
2 Don’t tell her mom, “Now I know where your daughter gets her hotness from.”
3 A ratty tee shirt and ripped up jeans is not proper attire for a good first impression.
4 Don’t grope your girlfriend in front of her parents.
5 Try not to answer for your girlfriend and dominate the conversation being a know it all.
6 You don’t want to kiss the dad’s ass but definitely do not disagree with everything he says.
7 Her parents probably know you are sleeping together, but there is no need to confirm it.
8 Mind your manners. You shouldn’t chew with you mouth open and burp loudly.
9 If you don’t like the meal being served, suck it up. Don’t spit it out or say it is awful.
10 And most importantly, do not lie. If you plan on staying with your girlfriend, they will find out about all of your lies.

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KC Avalon’s Daily Blog

Worst responses to I love you:
1 yeah so or that’s nice (Indifference? Your mama didn’t smack you enough)
2 me too or ditto (Wow is that the best you could do? You really dug deep for that one)
3 what do you want? (Nevermind, I take it back. You don’t deserve it)
4 what? or did you say something? (Really? You can’t hear all of a sudden? I bet if I said I was giving you a million dollars your hearing would kick in)
5 hmmm (What in the hell does that mean? It wasn’t a question and there is nothing to ponder)
6 I love you as a friend or I like you (Awkward! You pour your heart out only to get friend zoned.)
7 whatever (You just dismissed me? I don’t think so. Now it’s time to say, “Sorry thought you were someone else.”)
8 seriously? or good one (How embarrassing! I think I will just laugh hysterically and say gotcha! I would never love you)
9 k (Do you have something you would like to share with me?)
10 ignore (Now it’s my turn to say nevermind)

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KC Avalon’s Daily Blog

Things that are hard to tell your partner:
1 “Um Babe, There is a little scratch on the car but you can barely notice.” He goes out to inspect and it is a big dent. You hear him screaming.
2 “I did a little shopping today to make me feel better.” He comes home from work to find 18 boxes piled in front of the door.
3 “I was pulled over for speeding. My ticket is $250.” Why so high? “I was going 80 in a 55.”
4 “I kind of got fired today. I told my boss where he could stick my job.”
5 “I went to the bar last night and drank too much. Apparently I bought the whole bar a round. You should see it on the credit card bill.”
6 “Where did the dog come from? Well I was window shopping and went into a pet shop and fell in love and couldn’t tell this guy no. Look at those 👀 eyes!
7 “OMG my windshield has a crack. Well more like a giant dent. You know that asteroid they were talking about in the news? Yep part of it broke off. I’m lucky to be alive to tell this story.
8 “My ex called me and he still has feelings for me. He will do anything to get me back. So what do you have to offer?”
9 “I took the utility money and lost it playing craps at the casino. I was so close to making a fortune. You should have seen me. We might be eating by candlelight, cooking over a campfire and taking a bath in the lake for the next month.”
10 “My parents can’t afford their bills and didn’t know what to do. I insisted that they move in with us. Now you and my dad will have plenty of quality time together.”

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KC Avalon’s Daily Blog

Ten things guys want women to know:
1 If you want to know how you look, for the love of God go ask someone else. There is no good ending. It’s a booby trap.
2 They will never ever ever say No to sex. No way in hell. It would be their last wish on their death bed.
3 You are not allowed to bring up things that were done years ago in an argument. It’s like being tried for the same crime twice or every time you decide to throw it into the ring.
4 If you kiss or touch a man, don’t be surprised if he expects more. It’s like having an appetizer and being denied dinner and dessert.
5 Sports are on every Sunday, Monday and Thursday. Don’t be surprised. Oh hell just plan on your man watching some kind of sport every day.
6 Stop crying 😢 when you can’t get what you want. It’s not fair. Can you say blackmail?
7 Share a cell phone calendar to ensure no important dates are missed. The last thing a guy wants is to get yelled at for something you could have told him.
8 They just say what they mean so don’t analyze it to death. Stop reading into things they say. Take it at face value..
9 They know how to drive. How dare you question their expertise.
10 Stop wishing for things and ask for what you want or expect. Guys aren’t mind readers. They can’t even remember your real name after calling you hon or babe all these years.

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KC Avalon’s Daily Blog

Worst place to pick up the love of your life:
1 A bar – people are on their worst behavior and it is hard to tell if you are picking up someone with a drinking problem or a fidelity problem.
2 A wedding – unless you are the bride or groom, everyone is usually coupled up. You may want to crash the wedding across the hall. Now you have a fighting chance.
3 The gym – certainly not the most pleasant smelling place and you won’t be looking your best. Do you really want the person to see you at your worst the very first time they meet you?
4 A high school reunion – there’s a reason why you didn’t hook up with that person in high school and there may be a good reason why they are still on the market.
5 A strip club – well if it’s the stripper, she is prancing around playing show and tell with her body. If it is a viewer then you are both sending a message that the two of you would never be enough for each other.
6 Prison – after those conjugal visits there are a lot more women available in the outside world. Plus, do you really want someone with a major rap sheet? You may not want to give that person a honey do list.
7 At work – do you really want to be with your spouse 24 hours a day? Not a good idea to mix business and pleasure.
8 With a friend – If you have been friend zoned then it is for a reason. You are fighting a losing battle.
9 Vegas – Nothing is permanent there including you. Vegas is a place to live it up and leave it there.
10 A concert – You won’t know anything bout the person other than their looks. Who wants to scream and yell over the loud music.

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KC Avalon’s Romance Three in the Key

Book review for Three in the Key:

Not just another romance book, Three in the Key by KC Avalon, will whisk you away and take you on an amazing journey. Set in the present day, this book will definitely leads the way in modern romance literature. It’s exciting, interesting and a real page turner.

Our two lovers, Jacks and Sydney, are just like any other couple, or are they? I don’t want to spoil the story, but when you begin you’ll soon learn how difficult it is to have a normal love affair when you have been drafted to the NBA and you’re about to launch your career as a special needs teacher. Does that stop them? Oh no! I really like the way Jacks and Sydney fought through the downs and celebrated the ups of their relationship.

And boy do these two know how to get it on! Yes, this is a book for over 18’s, mature readers. There are explicit sex scenes so make sure no one is looking over your shoulder on the bus! But, don’t worry, these scenes in the book are well written and are not the least bit smutty.

True love never runs to course, as they say, and the same is true for Jacks and Sydney. Real tension and drama is introduced when Sydney’s life is threatened by someone who she hoped she would never see again – a psycho ex! Things become complicated and lives are on the brink of devastation. This part of the story really tests the couple’s love for each other. Without revealing these amazing events, all I can say is I couldn’t put the book down. The captivating storyline and incredible, well developed and relatable characters will keep readers glued to the pages.

If you love a good romance thriller, you are going to swoon over Three in the Key by KC Avalon. It’s fast paced, extremely well written and full of surprises. Book review for Three in the Key by KC Avalon read and written by Chick Lit Cafe. https://www.amazon.com/Three-Key-KC-Avalon-ebook/dp/B07TKWNHMC

KC Avalon’s Daily Blog

Since we picked on the men yesterday it’s only fair to say the things men love about us:

1 We take so long to get ready that they spend the whole day waiting for us.
2 They love to be surprised by our purchases when the credit card bill comes in.
3 They love when we share our feelings. To be polite, they let us talk in hopes that we will shut up. Instead we mistake it for them wanting to hear more.
4 They love when we tell them about our period and our monthly suffering in great detail.
5 They love when we ask their opinion. They are screwed unless they tell us exactly what we want to hear. Anything else opens up the “What are you trying to say?” conversation.
6 They love when we give them short answers and won’t tell them what is wrong when they ask. We think they should know.
7 They love when we tell them long stories about people they either don’t know or don’t give a flying duck about.
8 They love when we tell them what to do! It’s like they married their momma.
9 They love when they pay us a compliment so that we can tell them how fat or ugly we are.Yay
10 They especially love when we bother them for attention when all they want is some peace and quiet. “Watcha doin?”

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