1 If the wind blows your dollar bill out of your hand, you will chase it for blocks to get it back. 2 You count all of your change to go out with your friends because you don’t want to be left home. 3 You put all of the Monopoly money in your wallet and try to fool shop owners when paying for your purchases. 4 You have to ride your bicycle to work when you run out of gas. 5 You will date anyone just to get some help with the bills. 6 The only place you can shop are the clothes donation bins. 7 You are still wearing hand me downs. 8 You play eenie meenie miney mo with the bills to decide which one is going to get paid. 9 You had to sneak out of the bowling alley with your rental shoes because yours have holes in the bottom. 10 The only vacation you can take is in your backyard in the kiddie pool.
1 It feels like teams are getting picked, and I am going to be the last one. 2 I keep checking my bank account every hour on the hour, but nothing appears. Peek a boo, where the hell are you? 3 When I owe money, it is due immediately or I pay penalty and interest. Where’s my penalty and interest payment? 4 Let’s make it simple. Rub out any balance I owe this year and we will call it even. 5 Or you could forgive my college tuition for the semester. It will feel like xmas all over again. YASS! 6 Someone further along in the alphabet received theirs. What’s up with that? Are we playing favorites? 7 Are you testing my patience? Here’s a little secret. I have none. 8 Let me go on your website so that I can spin a wheel to double my winnings. Let’s make it interesting. 9 Since Donald wanted to give $2,000, I will take the additional $1,400 in casino chips. Especially since that amount sounded better to me. 10 I am not feeling very stimulated!
1 They develop a case of amnesia and forget to pay you back. 2 They think you have more money than them and you can afford it. 3 They come up with excuses of being in a tight situation, yet they drive a new car, regularly go to bars, and buy lunch out. 4 They get mad when you bring it up and stop talking to you. Good one! 5 They avoid you like the plague. If you don’t exist, they don’t have to pay it back. 6 They tell you that they paid you already. They laugh at you for having a bad memory when you know they are outright lying. 7 They tell you next time, because they don’t carry cash. Next time turns into next year and then never. 8 They try and say that they never borrowed money from you. You have them mixed up with someone else. 9 They get all indignant and write IOU on a bar napkin. How about you keep buying me drinks on your credit card until I am paid in full. 10 Do you mind coming with me to the police department? Why? I need to file a report since you stole from me.
1 You try to be mindful when going out to dinner. You order the special, which ends up being the most expensive thing on the menu. Ripoff! 2 You get some extra cash but the house finds out about it and wants it’s fair share. 3 You keep telling Alexa to order things for you. They are inexpensive but add up quicker than you can count the money. 4 Your cable company charges so much that you need to take out a mortgage to pay for it. 5 You buy your coffee every day. It’s not a magic trick. You can make your own just as good. 6 Your car guy is aware that you don’t know diddly squat about cars. He talks you into a whole bunch of extra maintenance that you don’t need. 7 You are on vacation, therefore you are entitled to anything you want. You do know that you are getting billed for all of those luxuries later? 8 You get a cleaning service and clean up before they come. Why? 9 You pay for bottled water 💧 that comes from questionable water sources. You are better off taking your chance with spigot water. 10 You pay for warranties that you will never use or never cover what breaks. Let it ride. That way you don’t have to hear, “Your warranty doesn’t cover that. It would have been covered under the premium warranty.” Too bad sucker.
When you think you don’t care about money you might want to consider:
1 That your good looks won’t pay the rent. 2 You have to stay home alone because you don’t have money to party with your friends. 3 You have to eat out of the dog’s bowl because you don’t get paid til next week. 4 You have to ride your bicycle to work when you run out of gas. 5 You will date anyone just to get some help with the bills. 6 The only place you can shop are the clothes donation bins. 7 Your hair makes you look like a crazed serial killer because you have to do it yourself. 8 You play eenie meenie miney mo with the bills to decide which one to pay. 9 You had to sneak out of the bowling alley with your rental shoes because yours have holes in the bottom. 10 The only vacation you can take is in your backyard in the kiddie pool.