1 Arguing with customer service to get what you want is a full time job 2 You call out five names before you get your kids name right. 3 You can only buy things on sale 4 You hate throwing food away, or anything else for that matter 5 You get frustrated with technology 6 You put comfort before fashion 7 You yell at cars to slow down 8 You need your glasses before you can look at something 9 You remind everyone to pee before leaving the house 10 You have a bedtime again
1 Riding shotgun – There are only 2 feet between the front and back seats. You might think it was in another car the way the kids carry on. 2 Taking the first shower – One sibling wasn’t interested in taking a shower until the other sibling said they were taking one. Before you know it, there is a race up the steps. 3 Who is going to help mom – One child isn’t interested until you ask the other child. Then they start fighting over who is going to help. 4 Who the dog loves more – The poor dog runs to one sibling and an all-out war starts about who the dog likes better. 5 Who is better at video games – The friendly dinner conversation turns into a food fight. 6 Who received the better Xmas gifts- They can’t just say both of us. Instead, there is a contest gift by gift to debate over which one is better. 7 The favorite child – Each child is convinced that they hold the title even though there is no favorite. 8 The remote is like the key to the kingdom. Wrestling breaks out and tv time becomes WWE. 9 Throwing your sibling under the bus to mom and dad – Oh there will be hell to pay as soon as you are out of sight from mom and dad’s watchful eyes. 10 Looking at each other- Mom, he is looking at me!! This drives you insane, especially when they fight over who is staring. Close your eyes.
1 You get sent to find a tool you never even heard of then get yelled at for bringing back the wrong thing. Maybe you should have described it better. 2 You become the hold this and hold that person because he needs more than two hands. 3 You get sent across the street to borrow something. Why do you have to go? Now you look unprepared. 4 You are so excited to bang a few nails or cut some wood with the power saw only to find out you won’t be doing that because he doesn’t want you to get hurt when you are already dying of boredom. 5 You ask him questions so you can understand what’s going on and he tells you he doesn’t have time to get into all if that because he is trying to get done. 6 Instead of learning the job at hand you are getting drinks and making sandwiches. 7 What does picking up your trash and cleaning your mess have to do with this? 8 He screws up and blames it on you. I don’t think so. 9 You thought it was going to be fun but you keep getting yelled at. I quit!! Oh yea I’m not getting paid. 10 You try to walk away when you had enough and he holds you hostage because you live there for free and need to earn your place to sleep.
1 He turns into a weatherman and can’t resist telling you the temperature when he sees you going out for the night. 2 When you ask for something he tells you to ask your mother. She says to ask your father. You get bounced around like a ping pong ball. 3 He can’t resist putting “When I was your age” into a story. Four score and two hundred years ago. 4 He acts like a big spender when he hands you a $20 bill like it’s a hundred then says, “Don’t spend it all in one place.” 5 He loves when someone stands in front of the TV so he can tell you that you make a better door than a window. 6 He can’t resist using wacky sayings like “He folded like a cheap lawn chair.” Oh boy we better get pops outta here. 7 You ask for an ice cream and he answers with, “What am I a millionaire?” Not even close you big spender. 8 When he says, “Don’t tell mom. This will be our little secret.” You got him now! Let the bribery begin. 9 Dad always knows when you touch his thermostat. He is like the Gollum in Lord of the Rings. My precious! 10 “I need to make a quick stop.” Next time you get no drinks before traveling. It’s pretty bad when you see more rest stops them land marks on your road trip.
When you need a vacation so bad: 1 You go to your destination only to find out that you can’t leave your room for 14 days. By the time you get out, vacation is over. 2 You have a beach house and are finished serving the required quarantine. Jokes on you. Everything is still closed. It’s like you woke up after the season was over. 3 If you are single, pick a resort and a random stranger and inform them that you decided to quarantine with them for some fun. 4 Camp out on the beach for a change of scenery. 5 The only vacation you can take is a virtual vacation on Google Earth. You have been all around the world. I am a world class traveler. 6 You turned your house into a resort. The club is in the basement, restaurant in the kitchen, spa in the bathroom, gym in the living room and pool in the backyard. 7 Your candlelight dinners have become curbside pickups shared in the car with the headlights on. 8 You took a road trip and never got out of the car. 9 You took a cruise and didn’t realize that you would not be allowed to come out of your shoe box of a room. Your meals are left outside of your door. 10 The only way to visit your neighbors is through the lens of your telescope.
Happy Mother’s Day!! Today it is your right to drive your kiddos a little crazy with some role reversal. 1 Wait until they sit down and get nice and comfy then ask for something to eat or drink. 2 Take their car out and use all of their gas so they have to fill up their car next time they drive it. 3 Since they never write down when they use the last of something, hide all the batteries so that they are out of luck when their controller turns off. Too bad. 4 Talk non stop when they are watching their favorite show. 5 Leave your stuff all over their play room floor and see how they like it. 6 Tell someone what your kid said about them or rat on them to dad. 7 Jump up and down on their bed when they are sleeping. 8 Bust in on them when they are in the bathroom. 9 Ignore them when they call your name and make them repeat themselves a few times. 10 Put saran wrap over the toilet so that it gets everywhere when they pee. It’s not like they can hit the target anyway.