KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog –

I finally have a night to myself. What will I do?

1 Clean? NO WAY! I can think of a million things better to do.
2 Exercise? Very funny. That’s too much work.
3 Eat at a restaurant since one meal is pretty cheap. Oh, this is super awkward. I have no one to talk to and if I look up, the table next to me thinks I am a weirdo. Waitress, can I get this to go?
4 Dye my hair and look on the computer for vacation spots while it processes. I am a multi-tasker. Oh God, I left it on 15 minutes too long. My hair is jet black and I look totally goth.
5 Soak in the tub? Nah. I would probably doze off and drown.
6 Rearrange my bedroom. I can do this. Help. My mattress has me pinned against the wall. Anyone?
7 I know. Shopping! Oh, I only have $20. I might be able to buy half a shirt. Nevermind. It will be the world’s quickest shopping trip.
8 Turn the radio up and have a dance party by myself. It feels amazing until I turn around and see everyone back home early laughing at me. Get out!
9 I decide to try out my sewing machine by following a pattern and making a tee shirt. When I am done, it is only big enough for a Barbie.
10 Watch a movie because I never get the remote or have time to sit that long. This is gonna be great. I wake up 4 hours later. My night is over and I have nothing to show for it.

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KC Avalon’s Funny Top 10 Blog

Worst person to interview on a talk show

1 Someone not very talkative. They give one word answers and you are out questions with awkward silence.
2 A low talker. It constantly sounds like mumbling and the audience is straining to hear.
3 Someone argumentative. Instead of a friendly conversation you have a debate on your hands.
4 Someone boring. You are looking for great ratings not a snooze fest.
5 When you ask a question and they go off on a rant and no one knows what they are talking about. Twilight Zone.
6 They show up sloppy drunk and have no clue what is happening. It turns into a babysitting gig.
7 They curse like a sailor. After bleeping it out there is nothing left of the interview.
8 One who takes over and asks you questions. You lose control of your own show.
9 Someone who decides to have their life fall apart on your show. C’mon get it together.
10 Someone who uses your show for their own social or political issues. No one asked. Go tell someone who cares.

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KC Avalon’s Daily Blog

Hundreds of channels and nothing to watch:
1 You can’t wait to tell your friends that you have 500 channels to watch. Really it’s 490 channels of crap and maybe 10 channels with something mildly interesting.
2 Who comes up with this programming Russian Yeti, Deadly Cults, Was I Really Kidnapped, Tighten Crepey Skin just to name a few. No thank you.
3 You are excited to have a movie channel but the selection has slim pickings. Out of 50 movies, only 5 are from 2019. Half are from the 90’s. Very disappointing. The point of a movie channel is so you don’t have to go to the movies because you can watch it at home.
4 Cable TV is like a time machine. Most of the shows you have seen before and have no interest in ever watching again.
5 It would be better just to have a handful of channels. Who feels like flipping through hundreds of channels to get to something half decent. You grow old waiting for something worthwhile to pop up. After you complete one revolution you decide to go to bed.
6 Streaming programs have the same problems plus it takes forever to find a show you like and then “No Stream Available ” pops up. Why you little $@!
7 Just program all of the channels for HD instead of having double programs for regular and HD. You can’t count those channels if they are duplicates. Annoying!
8 There’s plenty of reality TV on but it seems so scripted. You yell at her and she responds with a slap across your face followed by you stealing her man. The End.
9 The cable company forces us to pay for channels that we don’t watch. I don’t need ten Spanish channels. I don’t speak Spanish. I also don’t need to watch foreign sports teams. I have no idea who these people are!
10 You are streaming a football 🏈 game and your team is moving down the field. A big play is coming up and the game lags. Your tv freezes and you see a spinning circle. When it comes back on, the other team has the ball. What the hell happened? Tell me tell me.

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KC Avalon’s Daily Blog

Unrealistic movie or tv scenes:

1 You took an ass whoopin and are still getting up for more. If that was real you would be in the hospital or morgue.
2 The female is on her way to a fight and is wearing heels and her makeup is perfect. I don’t think so honey.
3 Going after the bad guy all alone. You know you can call the police.
4 Big scary scenes in schools or hospitals with no one in sight. What are the chances?
5 Kicking down doors with one kick or knocking someone out with one punch. What kind of steroids are you taking?
6 Fist fighting a group of guys and they wait their turn to hit you.
7 No one hearing a bunch of gun shots going off.
8 Cars flying off bridges and landing on the ground.
9 Buildings and cars blow up and the people running away from the explosion fly through the air and get up unscathed.
10 You have time to have sex before having to deal with the bad guy. Instead of being tired you are energized.

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