KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog

When you are lost:

1 You camp on the beach for soccer, and have to go to the bathroom. On the way back everything is dark and you can’t tell one tent from another. You hear snoring that sounds like a grizzly bear and turn to make sure it isn’t chasing you.
2 You go hiking in the woods and can’t find your way back. You ask a tree, but don’t get an answer. Ten miles later, you make it back, but you were only looking to walk 3 miles.
3 Before GPS you would stop and ask for directions. The person would give so many details that you would go as far as you could remember and ask again. After 20 stops or so you would reach your destination. Somehow it always felt like a treasure hunt.
4 When you were younger and your father didn’t stop for directions and would blame it on everyone else in the car if he got lost. How can you blame it on a kid who doesn’t even know how to drive?
5 When your GPS can’t keep up with the City and it tells you to turn three blocks after you passed it.
6 When you really get lost and have no idea where you are, and the locals have no idea where New Jersey is. Where the hell am I?
7 When you have a split-second to make a decision on which direction to go and it is the wrong one, but there is no place to turn around. Change of plans!
8 When you don’t know your North’s from your South’s and somehow end up going East or West.
9 Back in the day when you tried to help with directions only to realize that you had the map upside down 🤦🏻‍♀️
10 When you are driving along only to realize that you are on a one-way street. You realize it when traffic is coming at you. At first you wonder why these idiots are going the wrong way and then you realize that you are the idiot. REVERSE!

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KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog

Bad luck for your driving test:

1 A 🐝 bee flies in while you are driving and you totally lose it and start swerving all over the road and almost kill your driving instructor.
2 You take a car to your driving test that you have never driven before and are unfamiliar with it. You put on the windshield wipers instead of the turn signal and let out a little giggle. Someone is not amused.
3 You take off before your instructor is strapped in and try to stop real quick. You instructor bangs his head on the dash. He doesn’t appreciate you telling him that he signed up for this job. Not your fault.
4 You try and show off your defensive driving skills and knock over all of the cones. At least you were consistent.
5 You sneeze and throw off your rhythm. Out of nervousness you floor the gas pedal instead of hitting the brake.
6 Trying to avoid roadkill, you scream and close your eyes. Guess who failed?
7 It’s pouring and you can’t see anything. Instead of slowing down, you roll through some stop signs. No big deal right? Wrong.
8 Coming to a four way stop 🛑 last and thinking it’s okay to go first since you have a VIP in the car.
9 When you think you are too good of a driver to check your mirrors. You are confident that the coast is clear. Big dummy.
10 You have to merge onto a road and use the entrance ramp to speed up. You think the faster you go the easier it will be to blend in.

#Top10 #blog #DrivingTest #funny

KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog-

Best Car Closing Lines:

1 This car is so fun to drive. I would feel horrible if you decide to drive your old car home.
2 Listen, I will throw in a full tank of gas so your first ride will be a long one.
3 Sure this car is a little over your monthly budget, but you will easily save this amount in gas.
4 Hey, is your company hiring? If I go any lower, I am going to need a new job.
5 Imagine yourself in this fast, hot car with the top down. Your friends will be so envious. I mean, you can save $50 a month with the Prius, but your friends will be looking at you for a different reason.
6 That couple over there really wants the same car you are looking at right now. If you put a deposit down right now, the car is yours.
7 Let me tell you, the vehicle is loaded. The only thing missing is you in the driver’s seat.
8 Everyone wants to save some money. This is a great vehicle. You work hard and deserve to treat yourself. If you don’t, no one else will.
9 I want to make this as simple as possible for you. If you sign the paperwork, I will deliver the vehicle to your door personally when it is ready.
10 As far as deals go, you pretty much hit a grand slam. You better sign the paperwork as quick as possible, before they realize their mistake.

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KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog

Cars and women:

1 Driving with your husband in the passenger seat is as unpleasant as when you took your driver’s test. He is just waiting to pounce on you if you make a mistake.
2 The man at the car dealership treats you as if you know nothing, even though you did your homework. He acts like you need permission from your daddy before making a purchase.
3 Repair shops skeeve us out and make us want to take a shower.
4 The mechanic makes up some fancy words about what is wrong with the car and you have no clue.
5 Every trip to the auto mechanic costs a fortune and you have no way of knowing what actually needs to be fixed.
6 There are too many gadgets. You aren’t flying an airplane for God’s sake.
7 Pumping your own gas is yucky when you are dressed up. Or when it’s cold. Or rainy. Or anytime.
8 You have a flat and open the trunk and look at the spare tire. You don’t know why you are looking because you don’t know how to change it but at least you found it.
9 We influence men in most car purchases yet some car salesmen ignore our presence and only talk to the man. Jokes on you. We are walking out.
10 We don’t want to know what goes on under the hood. As long as it works and it has a gas pedal and brake, we are fine.

#blog #top10 #funny #womenandcars

KC Avalon’s Funny Top 10 Blog

When honking your horn is annoying:

1 When you don’t want to give someone a few seconds to make sure no other cars are coming through the intersection. I’m sorry are you in a rush?
2 When you incessantly honk for your kid to get the groceries while you sit in the car. How about you get out of the car and carry them in yourself?
3 When you are trying to get to someone’s house and take 2 seconds to look at the street sign to see if it is where you turn. Give me a break.
4 When you let someone in front of you and the person behind you doesn’t like it. You are about to get brake checked.
5 When I am trying to sleep and you are trying to get your friend to come outside. Did you ever hear of a doorbell or a text message?
6 When we are sitting in traffic because two lanes are merging and you are salty that I was able to maneuver my way into the space that you didn’t want to give me. Crybaby.
7 When I am trying to parallel park and you are stuck behind me for an extra 30 seconds. OMG it is the end of the world!
8 When someone is making a left at the light and there is no turning lane and you are mad. Too bad! Do you expect them to go a different way to make you happy?
9 Honking at the geese crossing the road. It won’t make them move any faster. You may as well get comfortable.
10 When you are behind a driving school car and a nervous kid is behind the wheel. Suck it up ya big bully.

#top10 #blog #funny #horn

KC Avalon’s Funny Top 10 Blog-

guys who shouldn’t buy pickup trucks:

1 If you aren’t full size and need a ladder to get in it.
2 You don’t have muscles big enough to unload the cargo in the bed.
3 If you are afraid to get it dirty a truck is not for you.
4 The truck gives them false security and the power to run us off the road. You do realize the truck isn’t gonna take a punch for you.
5 If you don’t have enough bass in your voice, you won’t be able to handle the power of a hemi.
6 If your eyeball is level with the gas tank, wait a few more years.
7 If you don’t know how to change your oil or are mechanically impaired, a hot wheels car is better for you.
8 You are under the false impression that a pickup helps you with the ladies. Poor baby.
9 If you never worked hard a day in your life and have no callouses to prove it.
10 You bought it as a work truck but were born with a silver spoon instead of a blue-collar.

#blog #top10 #funny #pickuptruck

KC Avalon’s Funny Top 10 Blog

You Might Be a Bad Driver if:

1 The cars on the street where you just parallel parked looks like a demolition derby
2 You make your turns on two wheels
3 When the light turns green, you take off like a bat out of hell and drive like you are in a drag race
4 You put your makeup on and eat breakfast while you are driving
5 Your bumpers are rainbow-colored from hitting other cars
6 Everyone else offers to drive when you go out. You think you have the nicest friends when in reality, they pray that they get back in one piece when you drive.
7 Your navigation says to stop in 500 feet to let it out
8 Your mirror is hanging off your car. That’s ok. You only needed one anyway.
9 Your passenger is putting on their fake brakes and holding on for dear life
10 You drive the wrong way down a one-way street and curse everyone else out for going the wrong way

#Top10 #YouMightBeABadDriver #funny #blog