When your weekend is over:
1 You demand a redo since it went by too fast.
2 You stayed up all night to get the most out of the last day and slept through Monday.
3 Your Monday lasts longer than the entire weekend.
4 Although you don’t get paid for Saturday and Sunday, you convince yourself that it is better than going into work Monday thru Friday.
5 You burst out crying when it is time to go to bed Sunday.
6 You are convinced someone hit fast forward.
7 You have to call out sick Monday because you are in denial.
8 You go to the boss to discuss the three day weekend and use mental health as your argument.
9 When your boss calls to see where you are on Monday, you ask him why he is calling you on a Sunday.
10 You start looking for jobs that give you summers off.

#blog #top10 #funny #weekendover

When you are in a rush:
1 Your dog decides to do a whoopsie in the house and you need to clean it up.
2 Your neighbor stops to say hello. You never new hello lasted an hour.
3 You realize your car is running on fumes.
4 You get stopped by an officer for speeding. You hope “sorry officer” and a pretty smile will be enough for him to let you go on your merry old way.
5 You forget your phone and really need to turn around to get it, no matter the consequences.
6 You get stuck at each and every traffic light that you see. Now you are late and angry.
7 You are stuck behind a car going 10 mph. You might as well get out and start running. Who drives that slow?
8 You forget to put on deodorant and smell like a hoagie later on that morning. Pew.
9 You can’t find your keys, or your shoes, or your handbag, or your money. Maybe it is a sign that you should stay home.
10 You finally make it to work and realize it is Saturday!!

#blog #top10 #funny #rushing

Pain in the neck to clean:
1 Peanut butter on silverware: It is a bugger and doesn’t want to dissolve. You try and clean the butter knife and then it’s stuck on the sponge.
2 Flour on the counter: If you make the mistake of using a wet rag, congratulations, you just made paste.
3 Mopping when it is raining out: All I can say is, what a mess. If people come in without removing their shoes, you have muddy floors and need to mop again, and again.
4 Tracking salt and ice melt inside: It’s as if someone ate a giant soft pretzel and spilled all of the salt on the floor. The roller of the vacuum moves it everywhere but inside the vacuum.
5 Christmas tree needles: No matter how well you vacuum, you can find needles in random places six months later.
6 Glitter: It may look pretty but you curse out the person who sent you the card. As the days go by, you find pieces of glitter on the floor, your hair, your face, and any available surface.
7 Packing peanuts: They are the biggest pain in the neck and useless. No matter how careful you try to be, they go all over the place. The trash bag gets static cling and the peanuts refuse to get inside the bag. It’s a standoff of the packing peanuts.
8 The barbecue gril: Cleaning the rack makes you feel like Cinderella. It takes all the elbow grease you can muster to get the grime off the grill. It’s a workout.
9 Lint or dog hair on your clothes: Somehow, white lint and dog hair love to hang out on your black pants or shirt. As the day goes on, it multiplies and you look like a crazy cat lady or someone who doesn’t wash their clothes very often.
10 Parking under a tree in the shade is a brilliant idea. That is until you get tree sap stuck on your car. It is the nastiest, stickiest, ooziest stuff to ever drip on the car and it is a pain in the carcass to get off.

#blog #top10 #funny #toughtoclean

How men get out of chores:

1 If you send them grocery shopping, they bring home all the wrong things including items not on the list so that they never get asked to shop again.
2 They say they are tired so that you do it for them.
3 Their idea of cleaning dishes is putting them in the sink.
4 They throw everything in the wash, regardless of color or washing instructions.
5 There is no need to make the bed when you are going to sleep in it again later.
6 If you ask them to do something, they take their shirt off and try to distract you from giving them chores.
7 They pay the kids to do their chores. May as well put the little minions to good use.
8 They clean up and put everything in the wrong place. These items will never be seen again.
9 They hate cleaning the toilet even though they pee like blind men. Their idea of cleaning it is to put 2000 flushes tablets in the bowl so that the blue color hides the dirt. Problem solved.
10 When they mop the floor, there are little ponds all around the house. It takes all day to dry and you have to stop the dogs from drinking the puddles.

#top10 #funny #mencleaning #blog

Losing things:
1 You need a checklist to keep your life together.
2 You lose your phone so much that it feels like a scavenger hunt every time you need it.
3 No wonder you are so good at finding things for the kids. You lose things all the time.
4 You put the important paper in the safest place possible. Now, if you can only remember where that is.
5 If only you could lose weight since you are good at losing everything else, you would be in great shape.
6 You run around the house in circles, looking for your sunglasses that are sitting on the top of your head.
7 You lose your eyeglasses and can’t find them because you need glasses to see them.
8 You park at the stadium and don’t pay too much attention to the section where you parked. Having some drinks at the game didn’t help matters. You walk around aimlessly after the game looking for your car. Looks like you will have to wait until everyone leaves.
9 You waited all day to watch TV and can’t find the damn remote. You are on your hands and knees looking under sofas, between cushions, on the floor. You find it in the fridge where you must have put it when you grabbed that beer.
10 Your kid was with you, and then all of a sudden, they are nowhere in sight. You have a full-blown panic attack, and then they jump out and say surprise. Why you little!!! Thank God you are okay. Wait till I get you home for scaring me like that.

#blog #top10 #funny #lost