Pain in the neck to clean:
1 Peanut butter on silverware: It is a bugger and doesn’t want to dissolve. You try and clean the butter knife and then it’s stuck on the sponge.
2 Flour on the counter: If you make the mistake of using a wet rag, congratulations, you just made paste.
3 Mopping when it is raining out: All I can say is, what a mess. If people come in without removing their shoes, you have muddy floors and need to mop again, and again.
4 Tracking salt and ice melt inside: It’s as if someone ate a giant soft pretzel and spilled all of the salt on the floor. The roller of the vacuum moves it everywhere but inside the vacuum.
5 Christmas tree needles: No matter how well you vacuum, you can find needles in random places six months later.
6 Glitter: It may look pretty but you curse out the person who sent you the card. As the days go by, you find pieces of glitter on the floor, your hair, your face, and any available surface.
7 Packing peanuts: They are the biggest pain in the neck and useless. No matter how careful you try to be, they go all over the place. The trash bag gets static cling and the peanuts refuse to get inside the bag. It’s a standoff of the packing peanuts.
8 The barbecue gril: Cleaning the rack makes you feel like Cinderella. It takes all the elbow grease you can muster to get the grime off the grill. It’s a workout.
9 Lint or dog hair on your clothes: Somehow, white lint and dog hair love to hang out on your black pants or shirt. As the day goes on, it multiplies and you look like a crazy cat lady or someone who doesn’t wash their clothes very often.
10 Parking under a tree in the shade is a brilliant idea. That is until you get tree sap stuck on your car. It is the nastiest, stickiest, ooziest stuff to ever drip on the car and it is a pain in the carcass to get off.

#blog #top10 #funny #toughtoclean

How men get out of chores:

1 If you send them grocery shopping, they bring home all the wrong things including items not on the list so that they never get asked to shop again.
2 They say they are tired so that you do it for them.
3 Their idea of cleaning dishes is putting them in the sink.
4 They throw everything in the wash, regardless of color or washing instructions.
5 There is no need to make the bed when you are going to sleep in it again later.
6 If you ask them to do something, they take their shirt off and try to distract you from giving them chores.
7 They pay the kids to do their chores. May as well put the little minions to good use.
8 They clean up and put everything in the wrong place. These items will never be seen again.
9 They hate cleaning the toilet even though they pee like blind men. Their idea of cleaning it is to put 2000 flushes tablets in the bowl so that the blue color hides the dirt. Problem solved.
10 When they mop the floor, there are little ponds all around the house. It takes all day to dry and you have to stop the dogs from drinking the puddles.

#top10 #funny #mencleaning #blog

Losing things:
1 You need a checklist to keep your life together.
2 You lose your phone so much that it feels like a scavenger hunt every time you need it.
3 No wonder you are so good at finding things for the kids. You lose things all the time.
4 You put the important paper in the safest place possible. Now, if you can only remember where that is.
5 If only you could lose weight since you are good at losing everything else, you would be in great shape.
6 You run around the house in circles, looking for your sunglasses that are sitting on the top of your head.
7 You lose your eyeglasses and can’t find them because you need glasses to see them.
8 You park at the stadium and don’t pay too much attention to the section where you parked. Having some drinks at the game didn’t help matters. You walk around aimlessly after the game looking for your car. Looks like you will have to wait until everyone leaves.
9 You waited all day to watch TV and can’t find the damn remote. You are on your hands and knees looking under sofas, between cushions, on the floor. You find it in the fridge where you must have put it when you grabbed that beer.
10 Your kid was with you, and then all of a sudden, they are nowhere in sight. You have a full-blown panic attack, and then they jump out and say surprise. Why you little!!! Thank God you are okay. Wait till I get you home for scaring me like that.

#blog #top10 #funny #lost

Big boob problems:
1 Working out tends to give you black eyes.
2 You need to wear multiple sports bras to contain the girls.
3 Guys don’t seem to know where your eyes are located.
4 If you drop something down your shirt while eating, it is lost forever.
5 If you wear a blouse, the buttons threaten to pop.
6 They might look great but your back pays the price.
7 You always have angry shoulder marks from your bra.
8 Everyone thinks you are trying to be sexual when you aren’t even trying.
9 Getting pregnant scares you, because they will grow even bigger.
10 Wearing a bikini becomes a dangerous game of keeping the girls hidden.

#blog #top10 #funny #bigboob

Having a dirty mind:
1 You are constantly amused by seeing the double meanings in conversations.
2 Our parents act disgusted, but you spy a smirk on their face that they can’t hide. You know they burst out laughing when they get home.
3 You get so good that it becomes a talent, and you are never above laughing at yourself.
4 Life is never boring when you get a giggle out of something that you can’t believe someone said.
5 You have quite the imagination to go along with your dirty mind.
6 You can count on at least one laugh out loud outburst a day.
7 Your bad habit has rubbed off on your closet friends, and now they possess the skill.
8 Sometimes you think you can let your friend slide but then decide you can’t let it go.
9 You only need to look at your friends for them to know what’s on your mind.
10 You turn boring events into funny comedy skits.

#dirtymind #top10 #funny #blog

Signs that your day might not turn out great:
1 You forgot to set your alarm and now you are late!
2 You made yourself lunch, but it is still sitting on the kitchen counter.
3 You wake up with a banger of a headache and didn’t even drink.
4 You are walking on the sidewalk in the rain and a car drives through a puddle. You look like you were hit by a wave.
5 You are taking groceries in the house. As you grab a bag out of the trunk it breaks, spilling milk and eggs all over the driveway.
6 You wash your hair and can’t do a thing with it. It looks like a science project gone wrong.
7 You take off your glasses at the car wash and leave them on your seat so they don’t get wet You forget about them and plop down in the drivers seat when you get back in the car. Crunch.
8 The boss yells at you at work. Hey, I could have stayed him if I wanted to get yelled at. Bye.
9 You are almost out of gas and pay day isn’t until tomorrow. You dig up $2.00 in coins from your car to pay at the gas station. Hopefully it will last until tomorrow.
10 You keep losing things and at this rate, you will never get out of the house.

#Top10 #blog #BadDay #funny

When you say hello to people and they don’t say it back:

1 It’s cool. I like feeling like a jackass when you look at me but say nothing.
2 I say hello back to myself so that there is no uncomfortable silence.
3 I look around pretending someone else said it.
4 Say it louder. The person is obviously hard of hearing.
5 Wave frantically so they get the picture.
6 Say it in another language. Bonjour, hola, ciao. If you don’t know those, my give a damn is busted.
7 Dummy. The person had earbuds in and couldn’t hear you. You will have to take better notice. Those people get a smile with a polite wave. Or a cool what’s up nod.
8 Oh geez, they looked standoffish. I’m not a creeper. Not trying to hurt you. Just wanted to say hello.
9 They stare at you with a rude look instead. Whoa, killer. Easy. I take my hello back. You don’t deserve one. Next time I will slap you across the face.
10 Am I dead? I must be a ghost.

#blog #top10 #funny #hello

Italians:
1 We add extra syllables to words.
2 When we get together the dining room table is full of desserts.
3 If four people are coming for dinner, we cook enough for fifteen. God forbid we run out of food.
4 We talk with our mouths and our hands. If you tie up our hands, we are at a loss for words.
5 If you visit and say you aren’t very hungry, you will live to regret it.
6 We have no idea what indoor voice means. We talk loud.
7 We drink wine with every meal and eat bread.
8 We love to eat and when you are full, it is time for dessert. Manga.
9 We keep asking you if you want to eat, even if you say no. There is no such thing as a diet.
10 You always have to spell your last name.

#blog #top10 #funny #italian

If only I could finish one task at a time:

1 My husband asks me to look up how much he made last year. On my way upstairs, I bring up the shampoo on the steps and put it in the upstairs closet.
2 The closet is a mess, so I organize it and throw away old medicines. I get a trash bag from downstairs and bring a laundry basket upstairs. The bag isn ‘t quite full so I empty trash cans.
3 While I am in my son’s room, I make the bed and gather dirty laundry. Back downstairs.
4 I throw the dirty clothes in the wash and go back upstairs. I go to my room and put away the clean laundry. I go to the bathroom when I am done and proceed to clean both bathrooms upstairs.
5 The boys’ bathroom has a dirty glass on the sink so back downstairs to put it in the dishwasher.
6 The dishwasher is full so I empty it and then fill it with dirty dishes. I clean the counter and notice a pile of mail.
7 I go through the mail and pay the bills. Back upstairs to file everything away.
8 I decide to rearrange my office and run the vacuum. I may as well do the rest of the house.
9 My husband asks if I looked up his income. Back upstairs to look through the tax returns. While I’m here, I should get a folder ready for this year with notes.
10 Finally, I am done and go downstairs to tell hubby what I found. Now he asks, how much dental coverage do we have through our insurance. Oh boy, here we go again!

#blog #top10 #funny #multitasker

Putting away xmas decorations:

1 Looking around, the house suddenly looks bare and a lot bigger.
2 There are xmas tree needles everywhere. It’s a wonder the tree has any needles left
3 You don’t feel like putting forth the effort of putting everything away so you keep coming up with excuses to keep the tree up a week longer.
4 You order your kids to take down the decorations and they disappear, never to be found again.
5 Maybe I can leave it up and turn it into a valentines tree, then st. patty’s and then an Easter tree.
6 You look at the tree wondering if there is any way you can put it away to make it easier to put up next year.
7 You ponder throwing it all away and buying everything new next year.
8 You ask Alexa to do it but she doesn’t have that ability. Too bad.
9 You curse yourself for putting up so many lights on the outside of the house.
10 You keep breaking xmas ornaments and have more of a mess to clean up.

#blog #top10 #funny #byexmas

Bye Bye 2020:

1 “The year 2020…Brought to you by the letters W, T and F.” —The Super Mom Life
2 “The best thing about homeschooling is that now I can add, ‘I’ll fail you’ to my repertoire of empty parenting threats.” —Copy Mama
3 “After all the stupid things I’ve done in my life, if I die because I touched my face, I’m gonna be pissed.” —Unknown
4 “Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs: We roam the house looking for food, we’re told ‘no’ if we get too close to strangers, and we get really excited about car rides and walks.” —Unknown
5 “So far, 2020 is like looking both ways before you cross the street then getting hit by an airplane.” —Unknown
6 “The only thing I gained in 2020 was weight.” —Unknown
7 “If there’s one thing that scares me more than an apocalyptic end of the world, it’s the possibility that if my kids fail at homeschooling they have to retake it.” —Three Time Daddy
8 “After years of swearing that I couldn’t clean my house because I didn’t have enough time, 2020 has proven that may have not been the reason.” —The Super Mom Life
9 “I wish days of the week underwear were still a thing so I knew what the hell day of the week it is.” —Mommy Owl
10 “‘He chewed too loud’ became the number one cause of divorce.” —Unknown