When you try to be a chef:
1 I am a master chopper. Oh crap, where did my finger go?
2 I can throw the pizza dough up in the air too! Oopsie, the fan blades hit that dough like a baseball.
3 You carry the stock pot full of sauce across the kitchen and it falls out of your hands. Your floor, cabinets, appliances, and walls look like a murder scene.
4 Your cute little snowman cakes don’t look like the magazine. They look like they were caught in a nuclear meltdown.
5 The presentation of your food on the plate looks like someone upchucked.
6 You throw water on a grease fire and have no ceiling tiles left.
7 You can’t keep up with the steps of the recipe and are stressed out because you didn’t get the ingredients ready ahead of time. It’s hard to fly by the seat of your pants when you are under fire.
8 You replace ingredients that you have no business replacing because you are out of something. Tsk tsk tsk.
9 You cook on high because you are short on time.
10 You don’t taste the food until the end and are surprised when it doesn’t taste good.