Jury duty excuses:
1 Excuse me. I’m sorry I have to go to the bathroom again. No, it can’t wait. I guess you will have to arrest me because I am going.
2 Can I be the judge now?
3 Give a standing ovation and yell well done after each lawyer speaks.
4 You can have my verdict now. He is GUILTY. I don’t need any more evidence. If I go no I can still make my lunch date.
5 The defense lawyer tried to pick me up at a bar last year. I think that is a conflict of interest.
6 I refuse to work for $5 a day. I have no choice but to call the number on my labor poster since this is way under minimum wage.
7 Make yourself look 9 months pregnant and ready to drop a baby so that both lawyers want you to go as quickly as possible.
8 Look off into space and when anyone asks you a question, look confused about your surroundings.
9 You said I can’t talk about the case to anyone else and that is physically impossible for me. I can’t hold a secret.
10 Keep nodding off during jury selection.