Things we blame on the dog:
1 Falling asleep because you cuddle with them and are instantly knocked out.
2 When we pass gas that turns deadly, it’s always the dog’s fault. People will forgive the dog.
3 Having to cut visits short because we have to let the dog out.
4 Tripping over the dog and you were the one not watching where you were going.
5 Waking us up when we are sound asleep with loud barking. We don’t care who comes in the house. Let us sleep.
6 Spending all of our money on the dogs. Sure there are vet bills and food but they don’t tell you to buy them bones, treats, toys, outfits, beds and gadgets. That’s all on you.
7 Having an accident in the house when we were the ones who lost track of time. It’s not like the dog can open the door.
8 Making us late to work because we feel bad leaving them and five more minutes turns into fifteen.
9 Eating our shoes or something we love when we are the ones who left it out like a free invitation.
10 Having sore muscles when you wake up because you had to maneuver your body in weird positions in bed so you didn’t have to disturb the dog.