Eating outside at a restaurant isn’t as elegant as it seems
1 If it’s windy you are too busy holding things down to enjoy your meal. It’s more like work.
2 Flies strategically maneuver like F-22 fighter jets to get to your food and are relentless.
3 The sky suddenly opens up in the middle of your dinner for a shower you never asked for and you feel like a drowned rat.
4 It’s so hot that your clothes are sticking to you and you are sticking to the seat.
5 Your hair is long and the wind blows your hair in your face as you take a bite of food. Now you have a mouthful of food wrapped in hair. Yummy.
6 You miss out on the ambiance of the restaurant. You are on the outside looking in. It’s like being stuck at the kid’s table hearing the adults having a good time in the other room.
7 You get a whiff of something that smells like a sewer and immediately lose your appetite. Check, please.
8 If you are outdoors down the shore, you now have seagulls to deal with. If you thought flies were bad, these beach chickens are well trained at getting people’s food.
9 The chairs are very uncomfortable. You have a great meal but now need a chiropractor for your back.
10 You are on vacation at the beach and are dressed for extremely warm weather. The sun sets and it now feels like fall and you don’t have enough clothes for your body. Your teeth are chattering out of your mouth and you need to huddle up next to a bonfire. You settle for hoodies at the souvenir shop across the street that you send your husband to buy.

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