KC Avalon’s Funny Top Ten Blog

When you get a gift and have none to exchange. You politely excuse yourself for a bathroom trip:
1 You trip trying to run up the stairs as quick as possible. You rummage through your closet with clothes flying everywhere and move on to the jewelry box to see if you have anything with a tag still on it.
2 You throw the contents of your handbag on the floor praying that there is a gift card in one of the compartments that you forgot to use.
3 Next, you run down the hall to see if there is any unused body wash. No luck.
4 Then it hits you that maybe you have some perfume. You go to your special drawer and search. Everything is used. Why do you have to be a fragrance junkie?
5 Oh! You might have some candles. Perfect. Then you remember your friend is a pain in the ass who is sensitive to anything overly scented.
6 You are beginning to sweat and frantically try to come up with a solution. Your husband has the secret stash of money in his drawer. He has no idea that you know about it. You look underneath his socks and NOTHING!! He is on to you and moved it.
7 Then you remember your friend likes to read. On to the bookcase in the study. You find the perfect book but it isn’t going to be enough.
8 It shouldn’t be a problem since you can give it to her with a bottle of wine. You open the wine cabinet to find it empty. Unfortunately, you and your husband are apparently alcoholics who drink everything in sight.
9 You grab one of the plants in your house in desperation or go out to your garden and pick flowers. You have to crawl under the window so that you are undetected.
10 Of course, there is no gift wrap so you improvise with aluminum foil and are proud because the present looks fancy now.
Your friend smiles as you return to the room with your gift and you say, “I am so sorry to keep you waiting. My stomach is a mess!

#blog #funny #topten #nogift

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