Things I was never told about aging:
1 If laughing is good, what are these etchings in my face?
2 Why do I get amnesia mid sentence and forget what the hell I am talking about?
3 All of a sudden I am shorter and have T-Rex arms and have trouble reaching.
4 I feel like I used to be invincible when I was younger. Now my balance is wibbly wobbly and I seem to be made out of glass. If I fall, I break.
5 You turn 40 and your vision gets worse. Sometimes a blind bat can see better than you.
6 Cooking for big gatherings never used to be a big deal. Now it is .
7 Your bones start to make noises. I sound like Snap, Crackle, Pop when I walk up the stairs.
8 Why is hair popping up in places I don’t want it. Hair on my chin? What am I a goat?
9 After you are done with hot flashes which feel like your heart was replaced with the sun, you will freeze to death because your blood is replaced with ice.
10 Your muscles are stiff after you sit for a while and you need to warm them up. You moan out loud like a ghost every time you get up.

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