KC Avalon’s Daily Blog

Cruise ship expectations and reality:
1 The pool area looks so luxurious and spacious. Reality – There are 500 people trying to swim in the pool and people save chairs from the crack ass of down so you have nowhere to sit. It looks like spring break in Ft. Lauderdale.
2 You are going to get a nice spacious room with a deck. Reality – That costs a lot extra. You have to crawl up to your pillow because the walls are right up against the sides of the bed. The shower is the size of a camper shower. You try to shave but there is no room to bend over and lifting your leg up against the wall is not a possibility.
3 You are single and think that your room rate will be cut in half since you are one person. Think again. You get to pay the special two-person price.
4 You are guaranteed to have beautiful weather since you are on a luxurious cruise ship. Wrong Again! If you are lucky enough for it to be windy the entire time, you will be blown away every time the automatic doors open to the decks. The higher swells will test your seasickness. You won’t need to roll over in bed since you will roll like a hot dog on a rotisserie.
5 You spent thousands of dollars on your cruise so you assume excursions are included. In reality, you will spend $1,000 more to be adventurous.
6 Your alcohol runs on a tab that goes on your credit card. The last night of the cruise, they sneakily slip it under your door because they are too ashamed to hand it to you face to face. There goes another $1,000 if you are a big drinker.
7 You are really excited to spend time in each port to explore. Unfortunately, they only give you enough time to experience a peep show of each port. They really want to see how many people they can leave behind that don’t make it back to the ship in time.
8 They have men who stand outside of the food areas singing a washy washy your hands song. If you don’t want to sanitize, NO FOOD FOR YOU!
9 You are so excited about the opportunity to see some celebrity entertainment. You are living in the lap of luxury baby! Yo buddy, nobody famous here. That is on a special ship.
10 You take a stroll past the control room so that you can see the captain and his sidekick drive the ship. The area is covered in glass so that you can look in from the outside except no one is in there. So the ship is driving itself and we are in the middle of the ocean on the way to Bermuda. Hello, shouldn’t someone be in there to make sure everything is running smoothly? Did you ever hear of the Bermuda Triangle? Better bend over so I can kiss my ass goodbye.

#blogger #topten #cruises

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