House hunting adventures:
1 You watch so many home improvement shows that you walk through homes making comments as if you are speaking to an audience. You are very convincing with your fake TV knowledge.
2 People try to hide leaks in the ceiling and walls with fresh paint but you are like Sherlock Holmes and will get to the bottom of this.
3 The floor is uneven and seems tilted. Either you are in a fun house or someone spiked your drink.
4 The home feels so inviting with the music selection. There has to be a reason for the music. It is definitely hiding some kind of noise. Ohhh turns out you are right next to a major interstate and they were hoping you wouldn’t notice. Clever.
5 Candles are lit in every room of the house and has a very nice ambiance. I am getting suspicious of what they are covering up. Something stinks in here.
6 So you say I don’t have to be present for the inspection? You can’t trick me. I will be there with my pencil and paper. In fact I will bring my own inspector. Momma didn’t raise a fool.
7 Wow are these people kidding me? Their house is a pig sty and dishes are piled up in the sink. Good luck. This tells me that the owners have done zero upkeep. You don’t impress me much.
8 This house is absolutely beautiful. You find out that it is a rehab and the house is really from the 1940’s. Next.
9 You love everything about the house but at least a dozen houses are for sale on the street. Something doesn’t add up here.
10 The sellers want to stay while you look at their house. They promise you won’t even know they are there but pop up like jack in a boxes every time you ask the realtor a question. Stalker!