Things you attempt to do even though you can’t swim:
1 You take a cruise for your vacation which requires traveling across the ocean. Hopefully you can get in one of the little boats if the ship sinks, otherwise you will be shark bait.
2 You are in a canoe silently praying to God the entire time that you don’t fall into the lake. You would have worn swimmies if it didn’t look so ridiculous.
3 You slide down a water slide and are flying through the tubes. You are going so fast that you plunge underwater when you hit the pool. Great, you are going to die in front of all these people! You stand up and realize the water isn’t even over your head. I knew all along! I was just messing with you.
4 You are in the ocean and the water is up to your chest. It’s cool because you are out there with your man. Oh boy here comes a big one. Son of a beach! Suddenly you are swept off of your feet and your man is no where in sight. Bye Bye everyone. Sand scrapes your belly, and you realize the wave brought you back to shore. I’m alive!
5 You don’t take a bath for fear of going under and drowning.
6 You go snorkeling with a life jacket and think you are safe. Suddenly you have water in your mouth and are drowning. No one told you not to go too far under or your snorkel tube would go under water. Only you can figure out new ways to drown.
7 You are swimming in an in-ground pool and all of your friends are in the deep end. You join them but hover near the wall so that you are safe.
8 You go rafting in a mild current. It will be like a lazy river, right? Wrong. Your raft gets stuck and you jump in to get unstuck. Problem is you don’t have the strength to lift yourself back in and the water is over your head. You hold on to the tube and act like you would rather be on the outside. Why me?
9 When you go to a pool bar and are feeling no pain. It’s dangerous when you get off of the stool and are having trouble with balance. In this condition, you could probably drown in an inch of water. Brilliant idea.
10 You are in a kayak with a life vest so what could go wrong? Somehow you managed to flip over and can’t get out. Then you remember the grab loop and you are free! I am signing up for swimming lessons tomorrow.