Riding a horse for the first time:
1 You can’t remember how to stop the horse. You yelled STOP but that isn’t working.
2 Every time you try to mount the horse, it backs up or tries to leave without you.
3 The horse is cantering and you may need an ambulance when you get off of this horse. Your pelvis feels like it is in a boxing ring with Mike Tyson.
4 Oh boy you lost the reins. You try and throw your arms around the horse’s neck. He thanks you by throwing you to the ground.
5 You are slouching and your horse thinks you want to go faster because your weight is going forward. You are going so fast, you think someone must be chasing you.
6 You wear jeans and are paying the price because they are chafing you. YOW!
7 You are strangling the horse with the reins because you are holding on for dear life. Your horse isn’t liking you too much right now.
8 You are clenching your legs so hard that your horse takes off and you are bouncing like a yo-yo in yhe saddle.
9 You are looking all around instead of straight ahead. You do know that you are supposed to be steering not stargazing.
10 Your horse gets spooked by a ghost and runs for his life and starts bucking. You are like a rodeo bull rider trying to stay on. Down boy!