
If Dogs Could Talk They Would Say:
1 “Are you kidding me? You get steak and I get dog food!”
2 “Get that costume off of me or I will poop on your pillow”
3 “Fetch it yourself. You need the exercise more than I do.”
4 “Yank my leash one more time and I will run full speed so you look like an idiot in front of your friends.”
5 “I listen to you yap all day long. I bark a couple times and you tell me to shut up. You have some nerve.”
6 “Don’t call me in when I am putting my moves on the hooches.”
7 “I think our idea of a treat is completely different. A good boy deserves something big.”
8 “If you would stop leaving me, I would stop eating your shoes.”
9 “If you want to take me for a ride, you need to stop driving like you just robbed a bank.”
10 “Stop calling me poopsie whoopsie in public.”