When you try to go to bed without making any noise.
You are just so tired and all you can dream about is your head hitting the pillow. If he wakes up, you know he wants a little something something.
1 Your bedroom is at the top of the stairs. You trip up the stairs in your effort to be super quiet.
2 You kept the hall light off so that no light shines into the room. You forget that the door to your bedroom is shut and BAM, you walk right into it scaring the shit out of your husband.
3 All of a sudden every floor board squeaks when you step on it. Are you kidding me?
4 You brush your teeth and knock everything over as you try to put your toothbrush back.
5 The dogs don’t recognize you with the lights out and start barking like they never met you before a day in their whole lives.
6 You take your clothes off so that you can change into your pajamas. As soon as your clothes hit the floor, his eyes fly open as if he has naked alerts set under his eyelids.
7 You manage to get safely under the covers and then have to cough or sneeze. Game over.
8 You forget to put your phone on silent and a text message wakes him up. He sits up alarmed saying, “What’s that!”
9 You sit and lay in one smooth motion so that you are not detected. As soon as you go to cover yourself, you are captured by his arm wrapping around you.
10 You trip over the laundry basket and lay low by waiting on the floor as your dogs are staring at you over the side of the bed. Once you feel enough time has passed, you make your move and stand up and he is smiling at you. He knew you were there the whole time. Get in bed honey!