Things that are hard to do while skating on the ice:
1 Sneeze without falling. When I sneeze, it feels like it comes from my toes.
2 Make a fist fight look anything but ridiculous. Hockey players look ridiculous, so imagine how a recreational skater would look. You can’t keep your balance, and you throw a punch and end up face down on the ice.
3 Socializing with other skaters to get to know them a little better. It’s hard enough to skate let alone move from person to person. Too much work.
4 Wearing something sexy and revealing, because you have to bundle up. You would freeze without a coat and everyone would be able to tell by the obvious high beams.
5 Turning up the heat to keep warm. All of a sudden the ice would turn into a puddle of water.
6 Eating a snack without stopping because you are trying to maximize your time.
7 Power stop to impress your date. I can’t even stop unless there is a wall to stop me.
8 Answering a text. I need both hands to keep my balance and to use as brakes.
9 Making out. Oh boy. Closing your eyes while skating. Not the best idea.
10 Reversing direction and skating against traffic. You are taking your life in your hands and making people lose their focus.
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